things are going and working out differently, it never turn out how i want it to be. since things are already like that, and i know things which i shouldnt know and shouldnt take it to heart as i know they are only to make me smile for a moment and which wont last long, i think its really time for me t bloody hell let go and treat you normally, or else i am a damn selfish person. i think it through for a long time already. i think i should not be so selfish. i wont want to be that person who will worry abt losing someone or even get disturb with someone disturbing his/her love. i've disturb you for already one month, ive done things which are shameless stupid dumb irritating and everything. maybe what i do last time was very sweet very nice to you. but for now i think all those things have already become irritating instead of sweet am i right? i shall just let go, which i know i cant but i am willing to give it a try by taking one step out of your life. i will try very hard to success, walk out of misery. i can still be the one, helping you when you need help, helping you solve things when you cant, listen to you, be available for you 24/7, accompany you home, eat with you. drink bubble tea, share things, going out tgt, maybe next time travel tgt, be there for you always. i am still me, really you know when the whole world crash no one dares to be there to hold you or search for you, no one dares t dash in to a place which is on fire to save you, i will.i promised. no matter what i will be someday, but i will. you get my words.
i suddenly believe this thing called karma. hmmm so people out there dont try, there is this thing call karma and god will make you feel how bad it can be and how much you hurt others. so dont try. even if you did, try your best t make it back.
was out with a lovely friend today, i had a great time even though its like less than 3 hours i think. but i can feel the sudden happiness which i dont have for such a long time. is like i think back, did i ever smile for my own sake and do things for my own sake for the pass few months? maybe yes i am happy in a different way, but think, most of the time, am i happy or sad? maybe andi think its sad. i hope AND MAKE IT A WILL LAH i must be happy from now onwards. not putting a smile behind a miserable life but a natural smile and happiness. i hope i can do it.
thanks for those friend who tried to talk sense into me but i dont listen i know i am irritating but sorry, you know love is blind. but now i chose to walk into a path and leave a trail. taking the first step out and be strong. i hope things will go on smoothly. things which are not meant to be cant be forced.
A BIG THANK YOU TO ALL MY FRIENDS AND ESP YOU. for making me love you and letting me know whats the feeling of getting hurt and wont play around with love feelings anymore, letting me know how much effort , time, energy to build up a relationship. and make me know how to love someone correctly and not stupidly.letting me know how it feels when you really drip down tears for that person sincerely. letting me feel the tiredness of loving someone and letting me know what is the meaning of letting go of true love. thanks. but i can say, i dont regret loving you. <3
