things are going and working out differently, it never turn out how i want it to be. since things are already like that, and i know things which i shouldnt know and shouldnt take it to heart as i know they are only to make me smile for a moment and which wont last long, i think its really time for me t bloody hell let go and treat you normally, or else i am a damn selfish person. i think it through for a long time already. i think i should not be so selfish. i wont want to be that person who will worry abt losing someone or even get disturb with someone disturbing his/her love. i've disturb you for already one month, ive done things which are shameless stupid dumb irritating and everything. maybe what i do last time was very sweet very nice to you. but for now i think all those things have already become irritating instead of sweet am i right? i shall just let go, which i know i cant but i am willing to give it a try by taking one step out of your life. i will try very hard to success, walk out of misery. i can still be the one, helping you when you need help, helping you solve things when you cant, listen to you, be available for you 24/7, accompany you home, eat with you. drink bubble tea, share things, going out tgt, maybe next time travel tgt, be there for you always. i am still me, really you know when the whole world crash no one dares to be there to hold you or search for you, no one dares t dash in to a place which is on fire to save you, i will.i promised. no matter what i will be someday, but i will. you get my words.
i suddenly believe this thing called karma. hmmm so people out there dont try, there is this thing call karma and god will make you feel how bad it can be and how much you hurt others. so dont try. even if you did, try your best t make it back.
was out with a lovely friend today, i had a great time even though its like less than 3 hours i think. but i can feel the sudden happiness which i dont have for such a long time. is like i think back, did i ever smile for my own sake and do things for my own sake for the pass few months? maybe yes i am happy in a different way, but think, most of the time, am i happy or sad? maybe andi think its sad. i hope AND MAKE IT A WILL LAH i must be happy from now onwards. not putting a smile behind a miserable life but a natural smile and happiness. i hope i can do it.
thanks for those friend who tried to talk sense into me but i dont listen i know i am irritating but sorry, you know love is blind. but now i chose to walk into a path and leave a trail. taking the first step out and be strong. i hope things will go on smoothly. things which are not meant to be cant be forced.
A BIG THANK YOU TO ALL MY FRIENDS AND ESP YOU. for making me love you and letting me know whats the feeling of getting hurt and wont play around with love feelings anymore, letting me know how much effort , time, energy to build up a relationship. and make me know how to love someone correctly and not stupidly.letting me know how it feels when you really drip down tears for that person sincerely. letting me feel the tiredness of loving someone and letting me know what is the meaning of letting go of true love. thanks. but i can say, i dont regret loving you. <3 Labels: i can promise i wont fall in love again
slowly breaking.. shall move on and be strong
i think i am doing great by this way.. really.i hope this can continue instead of... yeap.
eh shihui i know you reading, hehe. can i say i love you? hahahah
my phone is like spoilt! OMG no vibration no ring tone, how t bloody phone expect me t like reply and pick up calls? wtf. heading to vivo later JUST to repair the stupid phone omg. lazy lazy.. someone help me please, comee on help me GO.
another thing is that, i dont have a specs! IS needs specs omg, someone accompany me t buy a specs please. jitao lazy. im broke if i carry on like this.
HOW TO GO PU TIEN YOU TELL ME! aiya can one, from today I WILL SPEND LESSER! PROMISED! =D
***LOVE if you have it, you dont need anything else. and if you dont have it, it hardly matters whats else you have..
its not that i dont wanna trust you, its not that i dont wanna believe you, its just that. each time i believe i'll hurt myself deeply. maybe you wont understand, every single small things matters alright, even its just giving me a small gift it means like the president is giving me $100000000. i choose t trust you once again, but as i said my prediction is always right, i dont even dare t put too much hope in it, or i will suffer. seriously sometimes i think i cant take it anymore. but i simply just cant let go of the string. its like i love you too much. tmr i hope it will be a better day for me t gain trust, hope you can make it. i promise i'll be strong and wont collapse.
today is like a fine day but some stupid katpo irritates me by SNATCHING MY CB SEAT, my bloody red bag is there cant you see? you blind izzit? eye so big for wad? OMG I FORGOT frogs got big eye and they jump like a i ddunno wad. RETARD! first is you. then later in the late morning another fat katpo come and snatch my seat also. whats wrong, is my seat so attractive or just because the person beside me is too attractive? pathetic shatec no money buy chair for you izzit. pathetic students.
*i will love you no matter who you are,
*a picture explains everything
i had a great day today.. me and shi hui had taro pie! willy and hong yi join us after that...
and i know something that i think i can be happy and sad with... shut up everyone .
tonight will be a damn happy night i will be going through omg, will be having fun with benson, zi cong, zi yang, keely, jasmine, shawn, hong sheng, jiaying. i hope we have a great chat and drink the hell out of ourself. after today forget about everything and stay happy kay! THANKS BRO AND SIS! (: i know what i am doing. not to worry (: i will control my doings. GET ALIVE AND GET DRUNK!
and BRENDAN I TOTALLY AGREE OF WHAT YOU MENTION IN YOUR BLOG. F LOVED YOUR POST. SERIOUSLY WHATS WRONG WITH IT? its just love, why cant bi sexual survive? the feeling is there you cant just treat it as its nothing right? love him or her? JUST GO LAH! wait durian drop izzit. but if she or he hurt you that will be bad. friends sometimes are simply just better. but sometimes lover is simply just better than friends.
something and people just simply wanna make things sooo difficult for them to cope with. and down there complain. not really complain but make themselve stressful. omg stupid. LOVE CAN BE STUPID AND CAN BE A BLISSFUL ONE, but if you chose the wrong guy or girl, you will seriously regrett, for those people who are attach, dont give your 100% but just your 99% serious. dont trust me END UP YOU'LL GET FCUKING HURT.
i have a new nick name for you sexy, STUPID FROG FROG FROG. KAPO!
*the hardest thing on earth is to watch someone you love to love someone else.. =.=
happy birthday jessica
yes ah! finally my mood is back! i am so happy and very long never laugh my ass out for like so loud so long and everything alr! but i think this is my REAL LAUGHTER! and not what you mean sheena! I LAUGH BECAUSE I AM HAPPY AND NOT SAD! I CRY BECAUSE I AM SAD AND NOT HAPPY! YEAPPIE.
school IS! omg char siew, nice eh, but slowly majiam not nice sio.. but okay lah! i cook one so its still very nice.. its like DUH~~ and today i went home in the afternoon and its like so rare it had been so long since i am at home in the afternoon DURING WEEKDAYS, omg i miss the times...
saw zi ang today, and like omg i seriously miss dunearn sooo much i realise. i miss the times when we fight and spar at one corner, hor jiali, i miss the times tat we hide in the classroom during recess t eat guava, and i miss the times we chiong for recess and $2 xia mian dont want veg soup many many hor joey tham! i miss the times that we slack at 426 and 417... i miss the times that we 985 home.. i miss the times that we go for band and fall in here and there, play beautiful musics OMG! i am so gonna go back someday..
Denial- i feel fine, this cant be happening, not to me.denial is usually only a temptorary defense for the individual. this feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of situations and individuals that will be left behinf after death.Anger- why why me? its not fait, how can this happen to me? who is to blame?once in the second stage, the individual recognise that denial cannot continue, because angey, the erpson is very difficult to care for die to misplaced feelings of rage and envy, any individual that symbolizes life for energy is subject to projected resentment and jealousy.Bargaining- just let me live to see my children graduate., i'll do antything for a few more years, i will give my life savings if..."the thrid stage involves the hope that the individual; can somehow postpone or delay death, usually the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle.psychologically, the individual is saying, i understand i will die, but if i coul just have more time.Depression- i am so sad, wy bother with anything ? i am going to die, whats the point? i miss my loved one, why go on?during the forth stage, the dying person begins to undertand the certainly of death,. because of this the individual; maybe become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the tim crying anf grieving. this process allows the dying person to disconnect oneself from thigns of love and affection. it is not recommended to attempt to cher up an individual who is in this stage, it is an imptant time for grieving that must be processed.Acceptance- its gonna to be okay, i cant fight it, i may as well prepare for it.in theis last stage, the individual begins to come to terms with their mortiality or that their loved one.i am in stage one and two and FML i still have a long way to go. prepare to not have good life.*when i see you happy, i'll be happy. stay happy always kays!
